Happy Birthday Mom

After my Mom's funeral, I was reading through all the sympathy cards we had received and a common theme was throughout. The saying that time heals all wounds was pretty much promised to me by any and everyone who had lost a loved one. 2.5 years ago I was extremely skeptical of it's truth, not understanding how I could possibly be healed from the painful emotions of loosing my Mother.  And now today, I reflect upon that promise and  I do find myself having more good days than bad.  I definitely have not miraculously gotten over all the pain of losing my Mom, but what has happened is healing has presented itself.  Through relationships, through reading, and through time spent with God.  Continued healing can and will come, but it will continue to take some effort. My Mom's last words to my sisters and I "stay strong girls" have taken on a whole new meaning to me these days. 2.5 years ago I never imagined I would be where I am today. I would have never dreamed my family would be in the positions they are in facing the continued struggles they each individually face today. I sometimes wonder what in the world would Mom think if she returned today... then I quickly try to move past that thought as I guess I probably wouldn't want to know. Ha. It is what it is and I need to focus on the happy things and be grateful for all the good in my life.

Today was My Mom's 58th birthday and it now seems like she has been gone a really long time. She has been on my mind quite a bit these past few weeks. Most likely related to the fact that we are selling each and every memory found in tangible items she once owned. My Dad sold their home and is going to close at the end of this month. With that in mind, he is leaving behind a home filled with items my mom had purchased. With those purchases, come stories and memories. Memories of times with Mom, shopping trips, discussions, coupons, conversations, holidays, laughter, tears and the list goes on. Bottom line is that we can not keep everything, nor do we actually need everything. It definitely highlights the fact that the things you own do not make for your life but in turn, how you live the life you have is what truly matters. It is just sad though. I feel even more raw lately, like every last ounce of the things I can see and touch that remind me of Mom are soon to be gone... All we will have left is what is in each of our hearts. We will have to rely on each other for stories and for the sharing of memories. At 34 years old. I never once thought I would have to reminisce about special times with my Mom with my family as my Mom would no longer be with us. I miss her dearly and in this fast paced life, it is sometimes difficult to take time out to nurture my grief that is most definitely still with me. 
Happy Birthday Mom. I love you. I miss you and as Mother's Day approaches, I am so thankful for the model friend and Mother you were to me. I know now the love a mother has for her child and I want to thank you in a way I could have never thanked you before. Thank you for giving us your all and for loving us the way you did. Happy Birthday. I love you. 
Tonight, we all met at Green Acres and enjoyed a Spinato's picnic. Suri and Jackson were running around with their spray bottles squirting any and everything which kept them entertained for the most part. We all agreed that next year we would make our meeting a bit later as the temperature was still quite warm at 4:30pm. Good ol moth of May in Arizona. Already 94 degrees and counting. 

2.5 and almost 4.5 years old...

If only they could clean this good at home!