Fair-well 2012

Once again, I find myself in somewhat of disbelief that in a few hours, 2012 will come to a close.  Soon enough, as I look over my shoulder I will soon see 2012 fading further and further away as we dive deeper and deeper into 2013. In bidding fair-well to 2012, we leave behind many great memories... memories of Suri as a wobbler- hard to believe that this time last year my now monkey bar swinging little girl was just learning to walk...wow!  Memories of a few trips to the cabin, riding the quad as Suri fell asleep with the motion... memories of Amara running through the forest, with the echo of me yelling her name as she was always wondering off to someplace she wasn't supposed to be... silly dog, I sure do miss her. .. Memories of Suri in daycare, so glad those days are behind us and that we found Mary Beth to care for Suri while I have to work. She truly has been a life saver and Suri loves her and her family as well as all of her neighborhood friends! Memories of Suri just  learning to swim in mommy and me classes, fun summer days with Suri and Jackson in the pool at Grandpas house... warm summer nights at the Railroad park... play dates with Suri's friends here at our home... all are such good memories that I am truly thankful for.

The beginning of a new year leaves so much to be desired! My motivation is always a bit higher now than it is come mid year and yet I still haven't quite decided what my "New Year's Resolution" will be. There is always the desire to pay off as much debt as possible, and thankfully I am closer now than I have been in quite a few years to making that dream a reality, the desire to eat better and exercise more, to get things organized and to donate what I didn't know I had to charity... but on the flip side, I would like to focus on Suri ( surprise surprise, right?) Suri is growing up right before my very eyes and I pray that God will walk next to me this next year as I continue to evolve in the role of her Mother. I hope to be able to walk next to her and guide her through her next milestones teaching her to believe in herself and recognize her for her talents. Suri is a strong willed little girl that more times than not, challenges me to the depths of what feels like no return. There are times I sit back and say to myself how easy it would be to just give up and give into her. How easy it would be to just ignore the most challenging side of her personality that surfaces at any given time as well as disappears as quickly as a shadow in the night. There are times I question my abilities to lead her, to discipline her and to help her. I question what the outcome of my decisions will be and how they will affect my daughter as she grows. I have many memories of my childhood, both good and bad and I hope and pray each and every day that I am able to provide Suri with a happy healthy childhood full of memories that she will want to reminisce about over and over again. Not to say that she and I will not endure challenging times but I will do my best to lead her through those times in an effort to achieve the best possible outcome. My wish for Suri is for her to continue to make a difference in the lives of those around her, to reach for what she believes in and to never, never give up! Suri has and continues to make me a better person and while it is not all entirely about me, it is about being thankful for what we have and with Suri, I have been truly blessed.

I am looking forward to a new year of new beginnings. A new year full of growth and change, a year full of giving back and a year filled with special memories that we have yet to make. 2013, what do you have in store for us? Lets go! We are ready! As I sit here and close my eyes, I can see Suri at the top of a jungle gym, holding onto the monkey bars and wanting so badly to be able to jump and cruse across them all by herself. Her ear to ear smile and the mischievous twinkle in her eye... as she looks at me and says "help me Mom". I hold out my arms, say "ready, set, GO"... and she leaps.. . .  Not a fearful bone in her body, and determination with each grip she takes... she purposefully maneuvers across each monkey bar with my hands supporting her at her waist.  Once she reaches the last bar, she turns around and stands with that all too familiar smile, so very proud of herself as she looks back at what she just accomplished; and ready and eager to do it all again .

That, is exactly how I want to approach the year 2013... Ready, Set, GO!