Life... as we know it: Mixed Emotions

5am. I woke up somewhat disoriented, trying to remember what day it was and where it was that I needed to be. Was I late? I squinted to read the alarm clock's faintly illuminated red numbers... 5am... today is Thursday... My Dad has cancer. We have a 10:20 appointment to meet with the Oncologist/ Urologist at Mayo Clinic. But first, Suri has physical therapy and I need to take a shower... I slowly sit up and position my feet on the floor as I bring myself to say "Happy Birthday" to my Mom as today is also her birthday. It is just shy of the 2 year anniversary of my Mom's passing, the 2nd year we have celebrated her birthday without her. The awful C word that claimed the life of one of my parents has plagued our family again in the form of Prostate cancer, threatening to take my Dad. My heart was heavy not knowing what the day was to bring.

After I finally talked myself into getting in a better mood to face the day, I went in to wake Suri up so she would have time to eat a descent breakfast before therapy. Suri is not one that has ever appreciated me waking her before her internal alarm sounded but today, she was pleasant and awoke with a sleepy grin. She wanted to take time to be rocked while she fully brought herself to face the day. Once she was awake, she was happy and eager to get dressed and eat so we could go see Jacki! She is so proud of her self now that she can say Jacki and wanted to repeat it over and over as well as say "go bye bye" "PaPa's truck"... yes, I have had to borrow Grandpas truck the past few days as I sold my Envoy this past Sunday and have been searching high and low since then for something else that would suit our needs as well as my pocket book (been a bit too busy to update the blog...) Luckily, yesterday we hit the jackpot as I stumbled upon a 2008 Saturn Vue newly posted for sale when I happened to be at home during lunch time yesterday as Suri had a bit of an accident at her daycare that called for an emergency pick up and trip to the doctors office. Suri had a nursemaid's elbow due to an accident at her daycare. . . The story is still somewhat unclear as to what exactly happened but bottom line is that her elbow was pulled out of it's socket and had to be reduced at the doctors office. Suri was a tearful mess throughout the entire process ( and so was Mommy) but settled right down as soon as Dr. Barcelona was able to reduce it ( pop it back into place). I gave Suri some ibuprofen and took her home to take a nap and have some lunch, all of which were desperately long overdue after her eventful morning.

Anyway, back to today... after Suri completed her physical therapy, I dropped her off at her daycare and headed North to pick up my Dad so we could attend his appointment together. We both had some questions to discuss with the physicians and figured 4 ears were better than 2. I must say, I am hopeful with the news we received. Luckily, the cancer was caught early and is still somewhat slow to progress (so they say...). The Dr recommended waiting a couple of months and repeating a blood test to see what my Dad's PSA score is. If it stays the same, he is able to continue to re check every 3 months. If it increases at all, he must have a prostectomy. On one hand, I want him to go ahead and have the surgery just to get rid of the cancer however I understand that the side effects are unfavorable for my Dad. On the other hand, I am hopeful that the cancer does not progress and would eventually disappear (unlikely, I know but I do believe in miracles...).

After Dad's appointment, I headed down to the credit union to meet the seller of the Saturn I was to buy. Thankfully all went well with the sale of the vehicle and Suri and I now have ourselves a nice new red small SUV that allows me to save some money each month on our monthly payment as opposed to what I was paying on the Envoy. After all was said and done with the car, I went to pick Suri up from her daycare in order to go home and get ready to meet our friends and family for a pizza dinner in celebration/ remberance of my Mom's birthday before heading to Green Acres to spend some time.

Dinner was good (Suri was a handful throughout... the end of the day paired with a hungry and tired child does not equal a relaxing dinner). The weather was nice and we were able to spend some time sitting out at Green Acres. Suri and Jackson played together and had a good time as usual.

I must say, it was an eventful day filled with many different emotions. I miss Mom as much today as I did yesterday and wish so badly that she was still here with us. I wish my Dad did not have cancer but yet I am thankful that it is the kind that it is and I am going to remain hopeful that this is just another bump in the road and that we will be able to continue on as a family for quite some time. I am thankful to have found a vehicle that will work out that way I had originally intended even though it was tough to say goodbye to the Envoy, the vehicle I brought Suri home from the hospital in.

It is now 9:30 am. Rugger was dropped off a little bit ago to spend the weekend with us as his owner has to go out of town. All 3 dogs are snoring, and Suri is sound asleep in my bed (pre transfer to her crib). My house once again looks like the aftermath of a garage sale but I am headed to bed! It has been a long and eventful day.